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Atrax51    3

Atrax51
Posted

"Life"

I came to this country as a boy.

The times where hard there was no joy.

I made my mark i made my way.

I made it work i came to stay.

 

2x

"I've travelled wide and i've travelled far

My feet have blisters, they have scars.

Around the world i've seen their work.

Good and evil , light and dark."

 

My journey made me into a man.

I built my dreams with these two hands.

I made a home i made a life.

A house , two children and a wife.

 

2x

"I've travelled wide and i've travelled far

My feet have blisters, they have scars.

Around the world i've seen their work.

Good and evil , light and dark."

 

Now im old , I've lived my life.

My journey slowed into a halt.

Looking back i start to smile.

cause all i did was worth my while.

 

2x

"I've travelled wide and i've travelled far

My feet have blisters, they have scars.

Around the world i've seen their work.

Good and evil , light and dark."

 

So now i give you some words of advice.

Forgive and forget , lifes to short to fight.

There is no passion to be found in playing small.

So follow your dream and always stand tall.

 

Contact me if you like my songs and need help with songwriting.

 

By : Robin H

Atrax51@hotmail.com

 

 

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HomerJSimpsson    48

HomerJSimpsson
Posted

Hi, I like your text, I can finf myself in it. But the last four lines of advice gotta go. They don't fit, they ruin your song. Never advice unless your asked. If you wanna advice people, write it like the advice was given to you.  ...

So, what instrument you play ?

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Atrax51    3

Atrax51
Posted

Hi ! Thank you for the advice ! I dont play any instrument. I mostly use a program called music maker because im totally new to this.

I have used it and made a few short songs for my videos (i work with interiordesign full time so i make short videos with the design and add my music)

That is how my music making interest was born.

 

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Atrax51    3

Atrax51
Posted

I forgot to say . I added one of the short songs i made here in my profile.

 

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HomerJSimpsson    48

HomerJSimpsson
Posted

Downloaded the short song ... interesting ... please loose that common edm-beat, you can do better than that ... if you don't sing, find a singer ... there's a chance for som good music to be ...

  • Gilla 1

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Atrax51    3

Atrax51
Posted

Thank you for the feedback ! I will think about this in the future! //Robin.

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Nbient    26

Nbient
Posted (edited)

I second the opinion on your texts. They’re quite good.
Are we free to use them in our songs if we upload them here for you to hear?

I’m also writing my opinion in this thread because I wrote a song my self once, titled Life 😁

One of my first songs:

Life

Waiting for the sun to return
In to my life where the darkness lives
Waiting for the time to begin
To heal all the wounds that we just can’t hide

Looking for a reason to leave you babe
I can’t seem to find

Life, is right here with you
Life, is like me and you.

Watching as the sun start to rise
Sending light in pushing out the dark
Watching as your face turn to smile
Happiness is all I can find in your eyes

Looking for a reason to want you more
I'm not hard to find

Life, is right here with you
Life, is like me and you.

 

Sounds like this. Not finished or anything. Abrupt ending.
I made it on GarageBand for iPad  😁

 

 

 

Edited by Nbient

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Atrax51    3

Atrax51
Posted
On 2020-08-04 at 19:38 sa Nbient:

Are we free to use them in our songs if we upload them here for you to hear?

Of course! Shoot man ! 

Best regards from Robin H.

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